Marian School's Parenting Seminar

I attended this year's parenting seminar at my daughter's school, Marian School of QC. I had to tag them along which made our travel to and from a bit tiring. Little toddler Roey kept asking me to carry her because   it was "init! init!" (hot) according to her.  We were a little late since I still have to finish some task before yesterday's cut off.  Even so, I still enjoyed the half part of the seminar itself and so as learned a lot too.

 I have been wondering how to properly address issues with my daughters. I suddenly find myself irritable especially when the 2 of them are present. Why? They just clash! I hate it when I start to nag, shout and feel angry about things they can't get along with together. The big sister has started to be annoyed by the little one's spontaneity and curiosity. They would fight because of the littlest things. These everyday hurdle is really unexpected as I was hopeful that the big sister will be very understanding of Roey. I guess it is really isn't advisable to have kids that has 7 years (or more) age gap. I started to feel guilt whenever I feel mad because  they both won't cooperate most of the time. It is even harder when they start to attack each other. I don't hit my kids. Spanking is the last option for me and it can be used when the kid can already understand but hubby's style is different and I think that's where they both got the idea of hitting each other. If you don't know my kids, you'd think I have boys but will be confused why they scream a lot too. Being a Mom is something that you can't just walk away from. I would never give up too, even it is definitely hard. These two mini mes are the most precious treasures I have. I am but glad to have attended this year's parenting seminar. I understood my kids and ME. I am now challenged to handle it better, and calmer.

The speaker, Mrs. P. Nieto with my daughters

We were given hand outs about the seminar itself and I would like to share it with everyone too. It was as if the topic was picked perfectly for me. About stubborn and argumentative teens/kids.

First, why are they feeling angry?

They are battling with daily difficulties and is trying to make sense of emotional issues such as:

• Changes in their bodies
• Dealing with friends
• Positive and negative peer pressure
• Separation/disagreement of parents
• Being treated unfairly
• Taking too many activities
• Chronic illness or death of a loved one

It was highlighted in the seminar that parents are often caught by surprise and react by either yelling or arguing back their kids for showing their anger. In fact, teens have poor coping skills and getting angry is the only way they know on how to avoid feeling hurt or afraid. There were options to help the teens/kids cope up with their frustrations and they are:

• Listen to your kids
• Focus on his/her feelings
• Ask them about unresolved conflict they might be facing
• Help your teen work towards a solution
• Understand the situation fro your teen's perspective
• Show that you care

There are still plenty of info I would share on my next posts about what I have learned about the seminar. For now, I am but glad to have spent the time because I got to think about what I have said and done in the past couple of days - they weren't helpful to my kids nor to me as a parent. Strategies from now on will be re-evaluated and approach will be redefined.