I attended this year's parenting seminar at my daughter's school, Marian School of QC. I had to tag them along which made our travel to and from a bit tiring. Little toddler Roey kept asking me to carry her because it was "init! init!" (hot) according to her. We were a little late since I still have to finish some task before yesterday's cut off. Even so, I still enjoyed the half part of the seminar itself and so as learned a lot too.
The speaker, Mrs. P. Nieto with my daughters
We were given hand outs about the seminar itself and I would like to share it with everyone too. It was as if the topic was picked perfectly for me. About stubborn and argumentative teens/kids.
First, why are they feeling angry?
They are battling with daily difficulties and is trying to make sense of emotional issues such as:
- Changes in their bodies
- Dealing with friends
- Positive and negative peer pressure
- Separation/disagreement of parents
- Being treated unfairly
- Taking too many activities
- Chronic illness or death of a loved one
It was highlighted in the seminar that parents are often caught by surprise and react by either yelling or arguing back their kids for showing their anger. In fact, teens have poor coping skills and getting angry is the only way they know on how to avoid feeling hurt or afraid. There were options to help the teens/kids cope up with their frustrations and they are:
- Listen to your kids
- Focus on his/her feelings
- Ask them about unresolved conflict they might be facing
- Help your teen work towards a solution
- Understand the situation fro your teen's perspective
- Show that you care
There are still plenty of info I would share on my next posts about what I have learned about the seminar. For now, I am but glad to have spent the time because I got to think about what I have said and done in the past couple of days - they weren't helpful to my kids nor to me as a parent. Strategies from now on will be re-evaluated and approach will be redefined.